Call me Uberized

Get connected. Be connected. Stay connected.

I attended a large national conference on health this week and the theme was clear: connect. Connection is good for personal health. It’s good for society. It’s our evolutionary legacy, our enabling future.

It isn’t necessarily easy.

 

 

Sure, I believe in the concept. There has been ample scientific evidence, for decades, that meaningful interactions and relationships have significant health benefits. And anyone who has ever felt the pains and pangs of loneliness (i.e. all of us) knows that we are a social species. We crave contact. We want to be seen. Heard. Appreciated.

Discovered.

Look at me! I’m someone. I’m capable, creative, and committed to the human cause. I am making a difference.

I used to think it was important to be discovered, to be noticed (for positive achievements, of course). That would mean something. It would mean that I was living a life worth living.

I was wrong. The sentiment of being “seen” or “known” is not always salutary. Fame and its relatives power and wealth are fickle friends and partners. Success, as defined in the social sphere, isn’t an assurance of personal achievement. There is no guarantee of health and well-being from a corner office or a magazine cover photo. Who is more connected than the most accomplished, the most recognized, the most discovered? Lots of people.

People like Uber drivers.

It took years but I finally found the need to join the ride sharing world – the “Uber generation”.  Initially it was a bit unnerving, like walking in to Starbucks for the first time and not knowing any of the protocol or vocabulary. There is an app. There is a request. A confirmation. Then a meet. There is a method. You need to know the rules of the road, so to speak. After that, however, it’s simple. After you get comfortable jumping into a stranger’s car and trusting that person to take you safely and efficiently to where you need to go, it allows you to focus on more than the mechanics of the trip.

You get to notice the drivers.

“How long have you been driving for Uber?”

I ask not because I want to know if someone is experienced. I ask because the question is an entree into someone’s story. Most drivers will tell you. They will look in the rear view mirror, make a quick assessment of the guy’s intent in the back seat, and decide whether the guy can be trusted for an entry level meet-and-greet conversation. Often, without really trying, it leads to more about the person and his or her life.

In less than a week of traveling, I’ve met people from around the world. Good people. Hard working people. Students. Retirees. Grandparents. Immigrants. People working multiple jobs. People just picking up some extra cash and enjoying the company of others. People of all different backgrounds and cultures.

People all interested in connecting.

No one wants to make longlong friends in an Uber trip; there is still the service component, the transactional nature of the encounter. Still, there is the human part. The social part. The part in which people of wide experiences and perspectives share some time together, in conversations ranging from sports to politics to travel to the state of the world in the contemporary era. In fact, I’ve had more meaningful interaction in the back seat of Uber drivers’ cars this week than at three full days of a conference emphasizing the importance of connections for health. At the conference, I had a schedule in my hands and I walked into a room or auditorium, found a seat, and at most smiled or nodded at people I didn’t know. In a trip with Uber, I don’t have to worry about the power of connection. I just connect. I don’t worry about being remembered or noticed or appreciated. I just smile. Ask about someone. And listen.

Maybe that’s the real power of ride sharing.

We are all peers.